I woke up this morning. Big mistake... I ate some breakfast. Big mistake.... I ate lunch. Big mistake..... I checked my weight. Big mistake.... I tried puking out my lunch.... the best decision so far but it was horrible. I know i am pathetic but i was sitting on the bathroom floor with tears in my eyes trying to puke out my lunch. I know my stomach is still no where empty and i tried to puke again and again but i just cant force myself to do it anymore. I just rather die right now than puke again. It was just horrible. Last night I thought i could actually do this... This mornign my weight was 56.6..... I am starving and my weight is going up!!! What the hell am I doing wrong!! I cant do this today... I just.... I dont know what to do. I just need to get this fat off right now, but I can't!  I am panicking beacuse I dont want to be like this forever! I catn be fat forever. I cant. I need to get this weight down now!! I am going to starve until I am at 54 kg.